Two days ago the weather was wild. A Met. Office Severe Weather warning had been issued and structural damage was expected over a huge swathe of Britain. At a critical moment the other morning it was clearly a time to decide to stay indoors, batten down the hatches and sit it out. But I was due to travel in an hour to stay with somebody for a couple of days. And I could hear the two people who had been with me already packing their car to return to Sussex. The wind was howling and the rain was horizontal! What to do? This was one of those moments when whichever way one turns there’s no easy solution. Plans can be changed, appointments rescheduled but on that wild morning my hand wouldn’t lift the phone to adjust plans and it was also clear my guests intended to travel, no matter what.
Dilemma is defined as being in a state of uncertainty or perplexity especially when requiring a choice between equally unfavourable options. It’s an uncomfortable place to be, knowing a move needs to be made but movement isn’t happening! With the added pressure of the severe weather and the danger it brings anxiety was running high. All the while the tiles on the roof rattled even louder! And then the phone rang. After a brief conversation about the weather the caller said softly, Gran died at 3.30 this morning. And with that piece of the jigsaw in place the picture changed completely, my hand reached for the telephone to cancel my trip and then I waved off the car bound for Sussex somehow confident that all would be well. And it was.
Being in a state of uncertainty and perplexity, can be an in-the-moment kind of thing as described above, or it can be an ongoing state lasting months or even years. Most often though life require that a step be taken and then be ready to adjust direction along the way. Doing the right thing for the right reason is something we would all aspire to do I’m sure. However, as with my recent decision to step back from the Field of Merit project, one doesn’t always know what the reasons for one’s actions are in advance! One thing is for sure though. As with the weather so it is with our lives. It is simply not possible to know the complex web of factors that are exerting themselves at any one time. Just sometimes, perhaps more often that we think, it’s good to pause and wait a moment or a day, or longer, in uncomfortableness. A previously unknown factor might just show itself and the hand can move, and with greater dexterity.
This is not to advocate for procrastination, more for patience in the face of discomfort.
This post is for the woman who died early Thursday morning and for her granddaughter and family.